Was It Your Best Effort?

Getting kids to understand the difference between best effort and always winning can be a challenging parent dilemma, but it’s so important to teach them what this means.

As I write, I am at a swim meet for my granddaughter. At fifteen, she competes at a high level and has had much success. When she doesn’t achieve her goal, i.e. dropping time in every event, she is not only disappointed but almost despondent. It is hard to get her to understand that if it is her best effort, given all circumstances, then that’s all anyone can ask of her. 

By circumstances, here’s what I mean:

·       How many events did you swim the day before?

·       Did you get your best sleep?

·       Have you been coachable? Trained regularly?

·       Is there something distracting you?

In the world of team sports, like baseball, basketball or lacrosse, it’s easy to blame a teammate for a loss. If we can get our kids to look at their part in the loss – or the win – there is much for them to learn about themselves.

It’s often easy for kids to say, “yeah, I tried my best.” Don’t be afraid to challenge this if you disagree. Truth over harmony. Kindly point out where you disagree, and  then let it go. You don’t need to “prove” that you’re right, and this lesson will come around again and again.

There will always be a better swimmer, first baseman, hocky player, pianist, student, vocalist. But if we can get our kids to understand that best effort is as important as winning – and that’s where we learn the most about ourselves- we will have added to their character.

Here’s to raising kids with character…

Pam